This weekend we saw 15 athletes representing Singapore at the Big Dog Ultra Satellite Team Championships. It took on the last man standing format where each runner has to complete a 6.7km loop every single hour. Those who can’t hit the timing, or choose not to complete the loop gets eliminated. I just touched down from Vietnam Sunday night, and could only witness this feat from loops 30 onwards. Even then, it was spectacular!
It geared towards a crazy showdown between Deric Lau and Joshua Toh as both gentlemen showed resilience and tenacity, gritted their teeth and just kept going. This wasn’t just about running - it was also about mind games, fighting the 💤monster, keeping your gut stable and staying in the zone.
51 hours and 341.7km later, Joshua took the crown 👑
This was the first time watching a backyard ultra and it was truly an eyeopening experience watching not only how the runners had the resolve to keep going, but also the importance of a solid support crew tending to you at the tail end of each hour. While races like this will always have a competitive element, it was nice that the community spirit shone through.
This event has been nothing short of inspiring for a lot of us as we watched them go #onemoreloop and back into the pain cave. Thanks Jeri & co. for organizing this, it was a great spectacle. Jeri also runs the *BEST* running gear shop, so if you’re looking for supplies to hit the trails or road, head on down to Red Dot Running Co.
Roberto wrote a beautiful piece of this event here:)
Now that the dust has settled and Janja-fever has subsided, I sit down with some thoughts on how the entire episode was like for me to be up close and personal with this global climbing superstar. Some context for some of my non-climbing friends, Janja’s superstardom can be read here and the screen grab from wiki below.
The gym, boulder+, that I do socmed is no stranger to hosting big names. We’ve had another global superstar Ogata Yoshiyuki gracing our gym in 2018. The idea of having Janja was first mooted sometime in Mar/Apr. It took some correspondence, long periods of waiting, a lull, almost forgotten, and then an email which confirmed the visit. We only had 2 weeks to make this show work in late Aug, and we sure as hell did! Props to the b+ bosses for this vision and materialising this gig, making it a dream come true for many Singapore climbers - young and old, new and seasoned.
Caveat: was never a Janja fan only because she always appeared cold, aloof and serious (on tv!); and I like underdogs. But this experience, right from the get go, altered my impression.
Two adjectives to sum up my interactions with her - easy going and genuine. Having greater access to Janja in photographing her when the team was out for meals/visits, chaperoning her to the toilet, convos in between waiting, watching her behaviour both ‘onstage’ and ‘offstage’ led me to this conclusion. The way she carried herself was extremely professional - even after a long day but yet still friendly with fans, emitting v good energy, polite - it was a good reminder for me to keep my own standards as well, i.e. doesn’t matter how up on that pedestal you are, it really is about how you treat everyone around you that shines.
The one big event that the gym held was a demo climb for Janja with 4 of SG’s finest climbers - Dennis Chua, Luke Goh, Judith Sim, Vanessa Teng, with a crowd of 300 backing everyone with cheers and applause. It was a nice atmosphere and something the climbing scene has been sorely missing. I’m pretty sure the climbers who had the opportunity to meet and speak with Janja left mighty pleased and inspired.
In Sg, climbing is still a pretty nascent but growing sport. With the proliferation of climbing gyms sprouting across the island, one is now spoilt for choice when it comes to training in different setting, wall profiles and holds. Sure, there’s more room for growth and so much potential when it comes to route setting and growing our batch of national climbers, but hopefully with the expansion of the sport to the masses and growing interest in the community, it plants seeds for the future generation to step up and shine on the world stage.
One can always dream, right? :)
It’s insanity, I swear. I’ve been hit by the running bug. Who’d have thought? Not me, really. But now that I try to piece things together and understand why it has happened, I’ve realised that running feeds into my checklist-personality. I set weekly schedules for myself to follow and if I fall short, it irks me. Y’know the feeling of not completing something? That feeling, ugh. Also, most runs are less than 2 hours and can be done almost anywhere, so it fits into my flexible, yet erratic schedule. Even when I was in Ubon Rachathani for a 2 week shoot, I could get my runs in and it made me happy.
I began running in July 2021. It’s been slightly over a year, but this year, 2022, has been a year of new experiences. It started off with me meeting my 5km target in Jan.
It didn’t come easy. I stuck to the plan and did my weekly intervals in Nov and Dec. The runs were painful and dreadful, but my goal was a sub-26 5km, and if I didn’t put in the hard work, I cannot expect things to fall in place for me like *this*. There were good sessions, but there were those where I wanted to throw the towel. My mental game needs work. Week in week out, I grind, and on time trial day, I outperformed myself :D This training cycle taught me that your body is really capable of SO MUCH more!
My next big running goal was to do a 21km and upon my friend’s, Juibian, persuasion, we signed up for a race in Gold Coast in June. From not running in June 2021, to doing a 21km in Aussie 1 year later. Insane in the membrane. So it was a few months of building up my base, self-talk, managing a terrible achilles tendonitis, eczema (I never ever had it!!!), possibly covid, and work, but I made it to the starting line and really all glory to God.
I was struggling massively 2 weeks leading up to GC - like I couldn’t even complete a 6 min pace 10km run? And I had to drop my intervals cos it was hurting my achilles. So to be able to do a 5:55 pace for this race was divine intervention and a prayer answered. I’ll work on doing a 1hr 55min next!!!
2 weeks later, I was due to do my first trail race at Cameron Highlands (Cultra). It was *merely* a 15km with an elevation of 600/700m, I didn’t make too much about it. Just use my leftover fitness from Gold Coast, I thought. But boy oh boy, it was the most painful 4 hours of my life. There were a few points in the race where I thought, ‘aiya just DNF lah’, but even if I wanted to, I had to still complete the route and make it out of the forest.
It was especially terribad because my legs (quads!) were not ready for climbing and I’m SO bad at moving on trail. Mid-way through my quads died, and I didn’t have Crampfix, and I was just on all-fours when I had to move downhill. Bulat documented these stupid sights and laughed at me but she also was super encouraging and I’m glad she was around. Throughout the last part of the trail, I was telling her how much “I hate trail!! I’m never ever gonna do this again!!!”, “who signed me up for this!!!”, but now that the dust has settled, it is crystal clear that my lack of preparation and underestimation that killed me :’)
But y’know in life, they say “never say never”? I’m gonna have to take back what I said on the trail because I signed myself up for something crazy again. For. Revenge. and I’ll hit the trails to work on my weakness. Is this not insanity? :) Well, I don’t know if I’d regret this, but I know I’d regret not trying again because I didn’t give it a good shot the last time round.
Wish me best of luck!
What a crazy 2 weeks. I’m very grateful for this opportunity - thank you Stefanus for lobang and Singapore University Sports Council for the trust. More than just a carousel of my fave images, these snapshots will be etched as memories of my time watching our athletes face off, falter and fight. I hope I did you all justice. For those of us whose paths crossed, thanks for taking time to share your sport with me and for the convos. I’ll see y’all around.
They say you need 10,000 hours to have mastery of a skill. In essence, it really is about the grind, the smart effort and the tenacity to keep going at it. I’ve never shot all these sports before, in fact I’m still very new to this genre. The last 14 days has been a steep learning curve, but it’s also imbued in me this desire to be at the top of my game. This is just the beginning and the first 1%. I’ll work hard. Watch me 😎
The best feeling about photography for me is when I’m doing the shoot itself and can’t wait to get home to review the images. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt this way and I’m looking forward to more such days :) Also, right now I’m doing a more pure sports photography but can’t wait for the day and opportunity where I’ll be able to combine my photojournalist skills with sports and document the true, all-access, no-holds-barred, honest journey of a team/sportsman. Hit me up if you think you’ve the perfect gig for me!
Covered my first #SGWPLfor Lion City Sailors WT against Tiong Bahru FC at Yishun Stadium last evening. Fairly uneventful first half, but the last 45 min was lit up by a brace from Danelle Tan and a spark of brilliance from TBFC.
The atmosphere sure as hell felt very different from SPL, marred by the lack of scoreboard, dug out and joggers around the track 🤯 - these girls deserve better, surely! Football is a physically demanding game and when the atmosphere, facilities, circumstances are not the most supportive, there’s an added barrier the athletes have to overcome. It is easy for naysayers to lament the state of football/sports in Singapore when we perform unsatisfactory, but hello does anyone out there want to donate a pool of cash or reform the system? Page me pls, and at the same time fund us poor photographers too :P
Though I may not be really good at it (just yet!), I love to make things with my hands. I’m very much a paper-pen person and because I also have the memory of a goldfish, there’s no better way for me to remember things then to have it in a tangible form. I have a diary for EVERYTHING - my daily calendar, my photography, my thoughts, exercise etc.
I did this small little book project of my recent Greece trip - played with different types of paper, washi taped some receipts/printouts, made a couple of fun folds here and there, and hand-stitched it together in an A6 + A5 format - just so we all got something to look back on next time 🙃
It was my first time to Greece - we spent time in Athens, Santorini and Thessaloniki. Wish we had more time to explore the islands and the trails but this just means we will be back again. Greece is a lot more affordable compared to her Europe siblings. A good meal wouldn’t cost more than $20 and the portions were huge! and! yummy! We had so much gyros and pitas and gelatos - I love eating :D But also, thank God for good weather throughout. We had nice sun (hello Vitamin D!), cool temperature accompanying us for most of the trip. It made our 10km hike from Oia-Fira enjoyable.
Also, surely in Santorini you’d expect to see those Instagram-worthy model-esque poses right? (not me, I’m nasty at this just look at mine)
Glad to have made this trip out post-pandemic and appreciate the solid company too! Thank you, K, but make sure you get your International Driving License next time ah.
p.s: the above images aren’t the spreads of the zine, just some photos to summarize part of this trip :]
The only way I can close this chapter of our lives together is knowing that after 25 years she’s going back home to her family.
Luce has been there since forever. Also probably the one person who knows all the deepest darkest secrets of the household. Watched our dramas and heartbreaks, took care of us when we were under the weather, and held the fort when my folks were away. Hosted me at her village when she went back for a holiday, fed me, nourished me, cheered for me silently. And so much more 💔
Hand on heart, it’s been tough because I’m such an emotional sentient being, and even more difficult when it’s someone so close to heart. Wish I could say this is not goodbye and that I’m not heartbroken, but deep down inside, in the recesses of my heart, I know how final this might be. God-willing, may we meet again one day 😭😭
Hi! I’m showing work here:
ennui is part of a body of images that manifested from months of long morning walks, in a bid to make sense of my restlessness and disenchanted state of being.
The free-flowing fabric symbolises a state of surrender to the ineluctable flux of life and circumstance, whilst being tethered by an anchor.
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Our body’s circadian rhythm is an unfathomable thing. Was stricken by bouts of insomnia for the longest time but 2021 had new plans for me. It decided that I should get out of bed at 6 or 7 am every morning. Frustrated, I could have been (who wouldn’t want to sleep in more!!!) but with an extra 2 hours to my day, I decided to go on morning walks instead. I didn’t want to be cooped up at home, or in bed, restless and mad at the world for throwing me this spanner.
These walks did me some good. It gave me time to think. It cleared my head for a bit. Prob gained some knowledge from the hundreds of podcasts I’ve listened to, and it was refreshing to be out there before everyone else. Cool, quiet mornings on the walk up; familiar strangers on the way back, made even better with the glow of the soft morning light.
As a photographer, I’m pretty sensitive to the quality of light and how it reflects/bounces off different surfaces. Most days during golden hour, I’d find myself looking out for this. Eventually, I started making some images with my phone.
This process of photography was spontaneous and unpremeditated. I would only whip out my phone from my pockets whenever something caught my eye. It could be anything from the soft shadows of vines creeping behind the tarpaulin, the tortoise that took forever to cross the road, to the canvas crisp yet being gently blown in the wind. And oh, the interesting blend of colors on weathered bark.
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The theme of this exhibition is ‘invisible’, and it was birthed from Buangkok Potters’ initial outreach with a group of APSN students. APSN is a school providing special education for students with mild intellectual disability. Our friends at Buangkok Potters shared about how ‘normal yet invisible’ this group of students were in mainstream society. I’m not doing justice to their project with my second-rate explanation, but you could always slide in their DMs to ask more or come see the works of the kids at the show!
How I decided to interpret this theme for and through my work, I leave it to you to make educated guesses. Share with me if you’d like, I’d be happy to hear your thoughts.
Just as an extra note:
· Experimented with printing images on fabric and mulled quite a bit about form vis-à-vis space. This series is antithetical to my usual photojournalistic work, a lot more introspective and contemplative. Pretty pleased with how ‘random’ images coalesced to form this triptych.
· Also! Made some merchandise, in the form of a scarf, with 2 of my fave weathered-bark images. They come in an edition of 8 (more exclusive than the BTS MacDonalds thingamajig), and measures 1m in length. All proceeds from the sales of scarf goes back to serving a group of marginalized individuals/families we reach out to in Cheng San, championed by the X-team. X-team is a non-partisan volunteer group consisting of friends, ex-offenders, good looking folks, aunties (not me!!), seed funded by my cool illustrator friends Jackie & Nat from 8EyedSpud last Dec. We do weekly home visits to some vulnerable and isolated seniors, keep up with youths falling back in school, hang out with adults who need a little bit of help in life. All profits from purchasing a scarf, at $120, goes back to supporting the efforts of X-team and makes a small little difference in the life of someone I guess :)
Say hello or throw me some questions at bernicewsf@gmail.com :D
Oh, how our lives been changed. In Singapore, we went through a period of ‘lockdown’, also known as Circuit Breaker (CB), with our movements severely curtailed in order to contain the virus. To be frank, I was in a bit of a rut during CB. It left me listless and disenchanted. I chose to distance myself because I really needed space to navigate and find a way around all these emotions.
Being socially and digitally absent pushed me to catch up on books and do some fun photography work. If you know me personally, you might know that I eat a.l.o.t. of bread. Like, a lot. Like the can eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner kind of a lot. So I started photographing some of it.
It dawned upon me that I could use my photography skillset to help struggling F&B outlets. I decided to get in touch with some of my fave small local businesses and made some photos for their use during this climate where delivery and social media outreach was the most viable marketing option. No money exchanged but it made me happy being able to do a little something to (hopefully) keep them afloat.
Here’s some images I made for Bakehaus. The bonus of all bonuses being I got to try a variety of bread and viennoiseries. I also made weekly deliveries to a select few friends and shared all these goodies with ‘em.
Another eatery I was delighted to photograph for was Soulfood Catering at Pahang St. If you’ve seen my previous post, you’d have noticed that I ordered nasi lemak from them to send to some of my kids. Soulfood is a nondescript shop tucked in the corner of a Kopitiam in the Arab St area and they serve really homey fusion nasi lemak. The owners were very sweet and accomodating when they had to send nasi lemak to my boys during Ramadan and this really was just my way of paying forward their kindess. Also, helped ‘em clean up their Instagram feed a little, but yes if you’d like to get value-for-money nasi lemak, go find them on IG @soulfood.catering :)
Delving into something more personal: I was having recurring dreams of my late Dad and it unsettled me. Plus, I was on some insomnia streak. It was tough. The painful reality is that I will never ever get to see him ever again, let alone travel or take photos together, but long story short, I made a couple of images of my parents, using cut-outs, around my home. Guess we have a new memory together now :)
The school teaching semester has begun + I’ve been trying to keep up with the many kids around me + doing a lot more community things (count this my national service, pls!) so that’s all keeping me pretty busy. I’ve so many more things to share but this shall do for now. Thanks for reading this and have a lovely week ahead!
[Update | May 22, 2020]
Just wanted to keep everyone who contributed in the loop. Despite the economy being in doldrums, we’ve been incredibly blessed to have raised half a grand in a few days. Definitely surpassed what we were hoping to raise, so thank you vv much! We’ve sent out 119 meals to 16 friends, twice a week. Soulfood Catering was an obvious winner with the kids and Brett (the charming co-owner) had been so generous in topping up our nasi lemak sets with putu piring from the makcik beside.
Also, qt Ryan celebrated his birthday at home with half of his family. The day before, he had sent me a one-liner “tomorrow is my birthday” at 4.43am, haha. A bit surreal that this boy is now 12. Soon he won’t be video-calling and sending over adorable messages and tiktok vids to me anymore? :(
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[April 20, 2020]
Woke up last morning to a text from an old friend, Shaun, asking for recommendations to an organization to donate to during such times and it prodded me to put together something for the few families I’ve been serving.
Long story short, the aforementioned convo sparked an open call (me on trusty IG story and Qq through her own networks) for some $$ so that the bunch of us can send out happy meals, twice a week, to our kids in Yishun and Woodlands during Ramadan. Sure, there are organizations that dispense free food to families in need but I’m also acutely aware of how there’s always the need for verification (ugh this can be v degrading and dehumanizing at times) and that sometimes the food isn’t the most delectable or appetizing either.
Of course, there are two camps out there – one being those who would vehemently argue and assert, ‘it’s free food, they should just take whatever is given.’ But the renegade in me on the other end/hand wants to advocate for them to get some nutritious, wholesome albeit pricier meals too. During this month of Ramadan, please allow me to occasionally indulge them in a dinner set from Hjh Maimunah resto or a good portion of sinful mutton briyani, because if you can, why can’t they?
We will also be getting them some goodies and groceries to cruise them through iftar and sahur. So, if you’d like to contribute, can always ping me at 97698301 and I’ll hit you with more deets. Might score you some karma points and land you in the (elusive) Good Place.
Also, writing this to remember that the youths of today aren’t as apathetic as we make them be. Most pleasantly surprised and moved by two fellas I’ve been working with in the last couple of years. Shout out to Charmaine for soliciting donations from all her woke Cedar and VJ friends. Doesn’t matter whether it’s $2.90 or $30, it’s really that little gesture that matters. Thanks for giving up your days’ worth of bubble tea or delivery for ‘em. Also, to my not-so-kid-anymore Mervin who has been delaying getting his back injury fixed because “too expensive”, yet first few to step forward and contribute a sizeable % of his paltry army pay. You both make me very proud <3
