[Re/introspection] Letters from 1999

Letters from 1999. 

During his first imprisonment back in 1999, Kim sent several letters home to his sister. He asked after the family and also requested for his sister to write in on his behalf to plead for leniency. 

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Below are some excerpts : 

5-3-99
“..are you still working? Put all my hongpao in my cupboard. Call father everyday give me three dollars and you put it on my cupboard with my hongbao. The one with mirror. Sis, write letters to the ministry of home affairs for mercy. Go and find MP and tell them about me and ask them to write letter to Ministry of home affair. When you write letter of find MP, tell them about parent divorce, family problem and this is my first time in prison. Tell them I already change and working outside. Tell them I feel regret, scare and I hope they give me a chance to change myself and turn over a new live. Tell them to give me go home early.” 

“I also read books in here. Borrow from library. I borrow five books title 《鹿鼎记》. One books four hundreds pages. All in chinese. I have noting to do but to read books. If not I will be very scare on here. A kind of feeling. The feeling is very scare and thinking of you, mother, father and all my friends. The more I think the more I scare. I will get mad soon with this kind of feeling. But I cant stop thinking. Nobody can help me from this feeling. Maybe this is the first time in prison. I just cant take it. Please help me. Save me. Find MP and ask for mercy. I BEG YOU…” 

“That day mother come and visit me. I know you outside cannot come in. You didn’t bring you IC as it still doing. You bring the paper right. The officer don’t let you in right. Don’t be upset. They are cruel. They will get their punishment. God will punish them. That day mother came and she cry. I felt like a knife stab in heart but I cannot cry. I must stand it.” 

15-5-99
“Last month I wrote a letter to Ministry of home affair saying I was beaten by CID and ask for a chance but the officer say cannot pass, which mean cannot send out. They say I should hire a lawyer or write to CID. I tell them cannot send, don’t send lah. Then they start to talk louder and told me to go out and don’t want to see me. Correct right, what lawyer, they think I got money. Got money also no use, the CID can just don’t admit. They are all the same, told me wait one hour at the officer and told me to get out, don’t want to see my face. They don’t know our feeling, feeling of getting out early, feeling of scare inside here. They only think I am trying to act.” 

“This few days very hot, at night go toilet also sweat. In here the food not bad, good to eat but less. No choice prison’s life is like this. Here every day, got fruit. Monday and Friday eat bean cube and meat. Tuesday and Thursday eat fish and chickens, the rest of the days eat noodle, kweoy taoy, and egg, peanut. Everyday also got vegetables. I drink a lot of water everyday at less 10 to 15 mug. To keep healthy, if not get sick easily. Exercise, very hard lah, asthma. Okey, I have to stop here, sorry about my handwriting and spelling mistake, ok? Take care of yourself and wish you a early Happy Birthday. Stay cute.”

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